Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Raising a Son as a Single Mother

While I've been single for 5 years, I've only been raising the children without the help of their father for the last 2 years, we last had contact with him on Christmas Eve 2011. Being a single parent is tough enough, but when you don't have the support of the other parent, it can be doubly hard. Having to make important decision without help, trying to be a Mother and a Father.

Raising my Daughter is easy, she's a girl, I'm a girl, so I know I can meet her emotional and psychological needs. But what about my Son??

My Son and I have a great relationship, he's 10 now, nearly 11, about to embark on the scary world of secondary school, he's growing up to be a lovely young man.

But I sometimes worry that I'm not meeting his emotional and psychological needs, I'm not a boy so I have no idea how boys think and how they process information or emotions. He has an excellent role model in my Brother and my Dad, but it's still not the same in having his Father around. But we carry on the best we can, we see my Dad every Sunday and he's such a positive person, very affectionate and I'm so lucky that he takes the time to talk to Damian and be that emotional crutch. They really are 2 peas in a pod sometimes.

But what can I do as a Mother? 

I've put together some tips that I think we all need to follow when raising our Sons without the help of their Father:

  • Never make him 'Man of the House', encourage him to be responsible but remind him he doesn't have to take on the responsibility of being a parent-figure.
  • Never ever bad mouth men around him, instead point out good traits.
  • Keep your opinions of his Father to yourself, he is not his father.
  • Find a positive male role model for him, whether that be a friend, an uncle, a neighbour or a grandparent.
  • Let him express his feelings, it's okay for him to cry, comfort him like you would a daughter.
  • Never ever tell him to 'Man-Up' or 'Be a Man'
  • Do not introduce a new partner unless you know it is a serious relationship and he will be a good role-model.

Above all, have fun and be silly, wrestle and rough and tumble with him.

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com


  1. This is great advice, and it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. Love the selfies! #MMWBH

  2. Great advice. It's good to have those people there for him to turn to when he needs male input or support. It looks like you're doing a great job and are having loads of fun! #MMWBH

  3. Some great advice there for all of us. Sometimes look at my son (who is now nearly 9) and it really hits me that he has turned into his own little person...and you are right, boys are different and it can be harder to know how they think/feel. Sounds like you are doing a great job. #BrillBlogPosts.

  4. Enjoyed reading this, especially as i am a single mum to three boys myself. great advice

  5. I'm a big fan of single-mums/dads. I think you guys are great! :) Brilliant tips too! I'm sure your son will grow-up to be a well -rounded person, especially since he not only has a brilliant mum but has the support and love of your family too :) #BrilliantBlogPosts.

  6. You are doing an incredible job-the happiness and LOVE is brimming from all these pictures. I read a great book recently Raising Boys which has a section on role models for boys of single mothers in case you fancy reading. Remember them stating about having strong role models in other men and it sounds like you have that. Thanks so much for linking up to #brillblogposts